Have Curls, Will Travel Has Been Nominated for a Liebster Award!

After spending the weekend in Hanoi, imagine my surprise and delight at finding a new comment in my About page from another fellow blogger –nominating me for the Liebster Award! A shout out and an enormous thank you goes to The Mindful Expat who nominated me. Shee is an American psychologist and a fantastic writer that really has a way of making her reader think as she tell us about her life and challenges of moving to Lyon (France) to follow her French engineer love….after two and a half years apart! If you love France and some self discovery, you should definitely check her blog out. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the Liebster Award, it was developed to recognize promising blogs with fewer than 200 followers, while also marketing the discovery of new blogs. In a kind of pay-it-forward system, I then get to nominate 11 other bloggers. Thanks again to The Mindful Expat for thinking of Have Curls, Will Travel! Here are the Liebster Award “rules” (copied from The Mindful Exapt’s post):

• Thank the person who nominated you for a Liebster Award and link their blog to your post.
• Answer the 11 questions they’ve asked you.
• Nominate 11 bloggers who have 200 followers or fewer for the award.
• Ask 11 questions to your nominees.
• Let your nominees know you nominated them once you’ve posted about your Liebster Award.
• Add the Liebster Award badge to your blog!

Here are my answers to her questions:

1. What inspired you to start your blog? (And, if it’s not totally obvious, how did you come up with the name for your blog?) When I took the job to move to Vietnam, I immediately started researching about life there, food, and the expat community. What I could not find, was a single thing about being Black in Vietnam, including things like hair products, cultural reactions, and whether there were people like me over in Hanoi or not. So I decided to create my blog as a resource for women of color who want to go to Vietnam and need a little information or support. And then, it just kind of took off for more interesting thoughts and encounters! As for my blog’s name, my afro-like hair is something that everyone defines me by and since I’m traveling, I figured, why not put the two together.
2. Do real people in your life know about your blog (and read it), or do you keep it anonymous? Yes, my blog is linked up to my Facebook, so friends and family do know about it, but I still tend to keep my real name out of posts.
3. If someone were making a movie of your life, what actor/actress would you want to have play you? Even though she looks nothing like me, I’d have to pick Judy Dench, just because I think she’s a fabulous actor
4. What genre would best characterize your movie? A self-discovery movie, à la Eat, Pray, Love…but even better.
5. What’s one item on your bucket list that you hope to accomplish in the next few years? Either to go shark cage diving or to visit my mother’s homeland, Trinidad.
6. If you came back in another life as an (non-human) animal, which one would you want to be? I would be a type of cat. Not sure whether domestic or wild, but that would be a pretty good life, I would think.
7. What languages can you speak? I speak French, and basic Korean and Spanish
8. What’s your favorite food that you discovered as an adult? Escargot!
9. Name one thing you’re grateful for. My family. They are my everything.
10. Name one great book you’ve read (relatively recently) that you’d like to recommend to others (i.e.: me). I’ve just re-read The God of Small Things, and it still blows my mind
11. Do you listen to podcasts? If so, tell us one of your favorites.  Unfortunately, I do not, but maybe I should!

And here are my nominees!

Where the Robert Meets the Road — A brilliant blog of a retired school teacher, now traveling with his wife in an upgraded RV, exploring the good Ole US of A.

WesterGirlEasternBoy—A Texan-native who followed her South Korean boyfriend to Korea. There wasn’t a happy ending, but now she’s thriving in Korea, sharing knowledge of culture and awesome K-dramas

SunsetChasingNomad—A nomad traveling the world, checking things off her extensive bucket list, one item at a time. Her pictures are just an added treat.

Unequivocaly Awkward—A self described vagabond, with a great sense of humor, detailing a journey through L.A.’s streets.

Shanna Writes. She’s 21. She writes beautiful poetry.

The Backpack Manifesto —In 2013, the quit her job and hit the road. She wants to see it all, and along the way, give her readers these gems of ramblings, musings, and snip pits of her adventures.

30 Before I’m 30 —About a girl name Jenna who’s trying to complete 30 amazing things before she turns 30.

Truly, Madly, Italy—Helen of England married an Italian. “Since then she has been blogging her attempts to hide her Britishness and make-like-an-Italian!”

Finally, here are my questions for the Nominees, should they wish to participate in the Liebster Award:

1. What inspired you to start your blog?
2. Who, What, or Where does your inspiration come from?
3. Books or Movies?
4. What did you want to be when you were a child?
5. What is your favorite social media?
6. What would the current soundtrack of your life be?
7. Favorite dessert?
8. What is success?
9. Do you speak any other languages?
10. If you came back in another life as an (non-human) animal, which one would you want to be?
11. What was your favorite class in high school?

Thanks again to The Mindful Expat for nominating me! And to all my nominees — keep writing and rock on! (And to my readers, check them out!)

Traveling 101: How To Deal With A Crappy Traveling Partner

Sometimes when you’re traveling, whether in a group or with one other individual, you realize you’ve ended up with a CTP: a Crappy Traveling Partner

Definition: Someone who is slowly degrading your travel experience because of their personality, habits, or behavior. Levels of intensity do vary.

Here are some tips on how to survive:

1. Don’t feed the troll—This means don’t say something that you know is going to ignite an argument/spat between you. Save your breath and your sanity and just ignore it. Plow along on your journey and enjoy the scenery….Oh, look! A butterfly!

2. Gently confront them about the habit that irks you—-No need to start a battle. Just when you see them doing it, gently say “hey, that thing you’re doing really makes me uncomfortable/grosses me out/makes me feel like I’m about to puke any minute.  Could you maybe curb the habit?”

3. If you’re traveling in a group, rotate babysitting duty—I once was stuck in a car for seven hours with a drunkard. Now, this guy is a close friend and a hilarious human being. But one too many drinks takes him from drunk and hilarious to belligerent and frustrating very quickly.  I placed myself as the main babysitter to keep him from annoying the rest of the group.  But when things got to be too much for me, I’d pass on the torch to someone else.  That way we’d all be equally miserable!

* If it’s just you and the CTP, split up for half the day, doing your own things and meet later for dinner. That way, you both get a breather from one another.

4. Ditch Them—sometimes a CTP turns into a really horrible, demonic entity that is making you stressed and miserable. If you ever get to that point (which I have not….yet), it’s time to pack your backpack and say “Listen, I’m going to Rome.  Why don’t you go on over to Barcelona, and we’ll meet up in, let’s say…..three months.  Ciao!!!”

Being Black In Vietnam

In the line of things that make me, I am Human above all else.  I am a Woman, second.  And somewhere down the line of attributes, being Black factors in.  Where?  I’m not sure whether it is at the top or the bottom of the list.  But it is certainly not the end all, be all that constructs my person.

However, being Black affects my experiences because my race/ethnicity is the first thing you see.  It is visual, inescapable, there’s no way around the fact.  Furthermore, I am aware that this characteristic called skin tone, factors in all of my experiences when in Vietnam.

Micro-aggressions do exist.  For example, just a few days ago, I was walking out of the grocery store, bags in had, when I passed a man.  He looked at me as if I was diseased.  As if I were a disgusting insect to be squashed on sight.  Flinching away from me, he moved to give me the widest berth possible when passing, even though he and I were the only two people on the walkway.  While not even close to being a regular occurrence for me, moments like this do happen.

Yet, many positive aspects exist: the droves of curious children, giggling and coming up to me to practice their English. Or the hundreds of strangers that give me an extra special smile and wave hello when I am walking down the street.

Just this weekend, I was at a massage parlor enjoying some TLC.  While being pampered, the Vietnamese women in attendance marveled over my skin in comparison to theirs, which they called “smokey and beautiful”.  A compliment I receive over and over again in regards to my complexion.

So what is the overall gist of this post?  Yes, without a doubt, I get stared at. Yes, I have strangers come up and ask for a picture, and numerous adults and children pet and caress my hair.  But that is pretty much as far as the strangeness goes. The people here are some of the nicest, most welcoming I have ever met. This country is one of the safest and most vibrant places on Earth, and let me say Being Black doesn’t change that fact.

Follow me on Instagram @cheekyy_traveler

Traveling 101: Take An Axe To The Travel Frustrations

I’m a duck. That’s right, I’m a fowl with feathers that repel every droplet of water to land on my back. And if I can be a duck, so can you.

Traveling can be glamorous, without a doubt. There exists that little puff of ego that emerges when you return home and recant your tales of tramping through the jungle, zip lining through trees, and eating foods that would make your buddies from university gag.

But what about those moments, hours, even days, of chaos. Those times when you’re ready to rip your hair out and scream because your visa paperwork is an utter mess.   Because you know you got ripped off by that salesperson, just because you’re a foreigner. Or that when you say vegetarian, that means you don’t eat meat at all, and yes, fish is meat, and all you want is just something to eat for dinner before you pass out.

It’s pure frustration. And when you’re travel weary, wearing the same clothes for a week, and sucking down malaria pills like they’re candy, I’m telling you to breathe. To repel those things coming at you like water sliding off your back.

I’m telling you to take the axe that you’re ready to wield at the next person to speak to you and slam it down on those moments, those thoughts. Because you’re abroad. You’ve realized that the world is so much more than the world of your childhood, and you’ve decided to do something about it. That, in itself is an achievement. Bottling all of that frustration in the face of chaos, brings you nothing. It exhausts you and clouds the experience that you’re trying to have. So breathe, pause just for a second, and I promise the answer to that chaos will be clear as day. And if it’s not, there’s always the bigger picture—that you are where you are to experience something new, to begin or continue your odyssey.

So take an axe to it, and be a duck.

Traveling 101: The Labels Associated With You

I am tall. It’s a fact–the average height of an American woman is 5’4″ and with me standing at 5’8″, I am definitely above the average.  What was unexpected when I was younger, yet that I have learned over the years, is the way my height comes into play when interacting with others abroad.

In Vietnam, I am taller than almost everyone.  Add the fact that I wear heels regularly, and you’re suddenly standing in the presence of a giant.  It is not uncommon for me to be stared at, pointed to, and children near me jumping up and down to try and reach my height.  Somehow, that one label–tall–changes my daily interactions compared to those that are of normal height.

Yet, to be sure, my labels don’t just stop there:

woman, educated, person of color, middle-class, North American, kinky haired, near-sighted, native English speaker….

These labels and attributes unconsciously or consciously affect my communications with people when I am abroad.  More so in Vietnam than in Europe, as I am now living in an ethnically homogeneous country.  I recognize the privileges and consequences of these characteristics and at times accommodate for them.  I understand that my experience as a black, tall, near-sighted woman is going to differ from other travelers in Vietnam.  And that is what makes traveling so much fun, frustrating, and worth while….the differences!

What labels make up you?          vegetarian, religious, biracial, disabled, etc?

Meet Cheeky!

Born in Canada, raised in the States, a mother from Trinidad, and a father from Harlem….as you can see, crossing borders and clashing cultures has come as easy as breathing to me.

At 13 years old, I traveled independently of my family for the first time. It was a marine biology trip to Bermuda, where I would encounter new sounds, a new climate, and colors of every pastel with palm trees as the backdrop. Like lightening striking a tree, wanderlust was electrified into my blood.

Fast forward several years and I’m a recent college graduate, fresh out of a B.A. program in Anthropology (the study of people and cultures). Having traveled several countries in Europe and lived a year in Paris, I was ready for a new adventure. And just as quickly as that thought appeared in my mind, an English Teaching position at an international school was falling into my lap. The obvious answer to such a situation is to pack your bags, get your visa, and jump on a plane.

Within a couple months of graduation, I found myself traveling to the other side of the planet, to Vietnam! Follow me on my journey in Bac Ninh and Hanoi as another ex-pat among a population of 89 million people. This year promises to be one hell of a ride….